Sunday, September 29, 2013

Lesbian Guidance Counselor 3

Title:  Lesbian Guidance Counselor 3
Studio:  Girl Candy (AEBN) Writer/Director:  Nica Noelle
Released:  9/10/13
Performers:  Sovereign Syre, Sophia Jade, Chastity Lynn, Jelena Jensen, Magdalene St. Michaels.  (Non-sex: Ella Darling, Gracie Glam)

Somehow I missed the first two episodes of this Girl Candy lesbian soap opera and that handicaps me in terms of this review because I feel like I’m coming into it in the middle of a story arc.  One thing I know is that Magdalene St. Michaels plays “evil bitch” better than anyone, ever.  Think Cruella DeVille, the Queen of Hearts, Cinderella’s Wicked Stepmother, and the evil queen in Snow White all rolled into one malevolent, yet incredibly hot, package.  I hope I never piss her off.  Ever.  Really.  Magdalene, if I ever do something to offend you, I hope you’ll just tell me about it instead of squishing me like a bug.

The action in this series takes place at an exclusively female school of some sort where lesbianism runs rampant among both the faculty and the student body.  The other unique feature in this school is that while everyone seems to have a smart phone, almost no one has a computer, even in their office.  But I digress.

Professor St. Michaels has apparently had enough of Sophie Hobbs (Sovereign Syre) diddling the student bodies, particularly Gracie Glam’s student body (which Magdalene apparently wants for herself), and has decided that Sophie has made the wrong choice and must go.  In this episode she sets a plan in motion that should, if all goes according to schedule, result in Sophie’s dismissal from the school.

Meanwhile, she’s hired another counselor who is at least as randy (if not more) than Sophie – Jelena Jensen whom she gives Sophie’s office without telling her first.  Awkward.  Anyway, Magdalene’s plan is to send Bella (Sophia Jade) into Sophie’s office to seduce the rampantly lesbian counselor after which she is to file a harassment complaint.  Having been on the wrong end of a similar circumstance myself I found this plot device disturbing, albeit briefly since my brain rather quickly became a little too short of blood for much contemplative thought.

Meanwhile, young Chastity Lynn (one of my all time favorite starlets) exhibits a lack of subtlety only exceeded by her lack of breast development.  It plays as comedy, or at least a sort of rain-coater inspired irony, as she and Jelena engage in a dialog so full of double entendre I found myself laughing out loud.

Back in Sophie’s new, and rather shabbily equipped, office, Bella makes her move and this ends up producing a completely laugh-out-loud moment (as it was intended).  Sophie is putty in Bella’s hands and the young student soon has her face buried in Sophie’s crotch.  Just then Magdalene appears.  Bella is under the desk eating Sophie’s coochie and Sophie is hard put to carry on a rational conversation with Magdalene who knows Bella is there and what she is doing.  After Magdalene leaves the sex heats up and becomes more reciprocal, although I have to take off a point or two for the location – never a fan of sex in office type spaces, kitchens, bathrooms, or any other place where the surfaces are hard or the positions awkward.  But since this is the exquisite Sovereign Syre I’m watching on my screen, and Sophia Jade is giving her a good seeing to, it’s an A- at worst.  Good opening scene.

Jelena and Chastity have agreed to meet at Jelena’s place later that evening, and that gives us our second sex scene.  This one takes place in a bedroom (hooray!) thank goodness.  I must say that I’m a big fan of Jelena Jensen.  Her tryst with Magdalene St. Michaels in Women Seeking Women 77 (reviewed elsewhere on this blog) was one for the ages.  I knew that with her in the scene we were going to get some quality titty play and I wasn’t disappointed.  Chastity must have been thinking the same thing.  After some more double entendre laden dialog we get right to lip lock and then the clothes start to loosen.  Wow.  This scene has everything including a nice missionary position tribbing sequence.  I did not make it to the end of this scene without stopping the video so I could clean up.  Even after watching it several times.  Yikes.  This one is worth the price on the box cover alone.  Trust me.

Magdalene, meanwhile, has hooked up with Bella, who reports on her session with Sophie and is instructed to file a complaint.  But first, she has to give Magdalene a little of what Sophie got.  Bella is an obedient student who has been promised a series of “A” grades for her efforts, and she complies – oh my does she ever.  No double entendres here; or foreplay for that matter.  Everything is out in the open, including Magdalene’s lush form which Bella services with alacrity.  Bella dives between Magdalene’s spread thighs and gets to work on improving her mind, er, grade.  Magdalene is never a selfish lover, even in evil bitch mode and she gives as good as she gets.  Let’s just say that both women have a good time and leave it at that.  This is classic Magdalene.  And, after seeing her in two scenes, I’m becoming a fan of Sophia Jade as well. 

The ultimate scene in this episode starts out as a smack down between Jensen and Syre.  Jensen gets off one of the best lines in the entire movie “I feel like I’m in the middle of a melodramatic soap opera.”  Leaving the redundancy of that statement aside, it certainly is true.  At any rate, the confrontation goes nuclear with a slap to Jensen’s face by Syre.  Jensen responds by looking  her opponent in the eye and saying “harder.”  Well now there’s an invitation to sex if I ever heard one, and
Sovereign takes the bait hook line and sinker.  It’s a best two out of three fall match with a convenient sofa providing the padded surface.  This is fierce and passionate sex with a dollop of desperation thrown in.  And, before I forget, can I just say that Sovereign Syre has the most beautiful mouth in porn?   Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes – what could have been a cat fight turned into a sex fight of sorts with no clear winner except the audience.  Whew…great closing scene, with lots of grist for episode 4 to grind.

This is vintage Nica Noelle storytelling from start to finish.  Nicely plotted, deftly directed, well written, superbly acted, and sexy as hell.  Yup, that about sums it up.  Now close this web page and go buy a copy before the internet runs out of ones and zeros or something.  You definitely do NOT want to miss this.

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